hell yes lets make some ravioli
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
