The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
NoShamevember. You game?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
