just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Randomize
