I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
