Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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