yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
