i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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