I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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