I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
