sarcasm needs its own font
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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