This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize