Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
