I wish you could order shots online.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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