I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
