so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
