I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
