If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
