i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
A+ Viking dick
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
