Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
