Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
