so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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