bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I touched a dick in church today
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
