tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
