Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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