would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
