Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
