yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
