Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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