Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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