Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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