my phone needs a breathalizer
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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