Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
