im gay
i know
yea but for you.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
