it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
