In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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