Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
