I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
