I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
home. puking in laundry basket.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
