It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
