Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
