so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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