so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
