Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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