sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I want to be your penis for a week.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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