I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
