Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
