At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize