Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize