Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
