Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
