Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
