Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
