I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
