super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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