I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
