I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
third nipple confirmed
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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