I want to walk on stilts...naked
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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