your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
