5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
