i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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