Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
she smelled like a LAN party
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
