Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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