I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
