Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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