Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize