I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
