3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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