Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Randomize
