BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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