Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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