my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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